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Industry Party!
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Our section on The Fun Lab's history brags of our successes in the fields of comedic excellence: "As our experiments grow in complexity and value," it says, "The Fun Lab the scene experiences monumental growths," it continues, "in its vast archive of intellectual material. The computer industry," it reports, "brags of a double of technological innovation every six months. We are proud," it announces, "to announce an exponential jump," it proclaims, "in our intellectual property that occurs every," it claims, "FOUR," it states, "months. When alerted that we had the computer industry beat by two full," it postulates, "months, The Fun Lab threw an," it claims, "industry dance party in the Vann," reportedly, "Bourassa Breaking-Wind Tunnel."
But in all actuality, we felt that all of this was a great opportunity to hire dancing women and get really trashed on COMEDY (beer) and SCIENCE (liquor). So we threw a little industry party. What industry, you ask? COMEDY!

It wasn't long until Doctors Pfaltzgraff and Gutenhosen got into a heated argument Now listen here, Pfaltzy...! about the comedic value of Bob Saget in ABC TV's Full House.
"Amazingly funny," Pfaltzgraff expounded.
"Bally-Hoo!" Gutenhosen retorted. Alas, one of the great arguments of the last waking breaths of the twentieth century was left again unresolved by two of the most underrated comedic geniuses of our time. Also, Doctors Pfaltzgraff and Gutenhosen.
It was finally resolved to lighten the evening's unfortunate tone with festive lemony votive candles and the innagural activation of Doctor Whittlocke's much-anticipated fume hood (pictured behind).

Could it have been the festivity of Glade votive candles? Could it have Willard and Bobcat Jr. been the festive drunkenness of science? We're not sure what it was, but we're sure that the guy in the cowboy hat was Bobcat Goldthwaite's son, Robbycat Goldthwaite.
We weren't convinced at first, but yes: that WAS Steve Gutenberg (of Police Academy fame) there with Robbycat! Okay, it wasn't Steve Gutenberg. But we're pretty sure that it might have been Stevey Gutenberg, who is every bit as funny as his father!
This photo was taken just as Robbycat lifted his hands as if to say, every bit as good as his father: "Stand back, and BRACE YOURSELVES FOR COMEDY!"

Dr. Geoffrey thought that he'd seen everything, what with the fume hood being activated and all, but oh-no, Geoffrey. OH-NO! Geoffrey and Rory Feldman!
When we invited Corey Feldman to the party, we thought it was a longshot. Actually, after thinking about it, we thought we'd have a pretty good chance of getting him: really, what in the hell is Corey Feldman doing these days?
So we were a bit dissapointed when we saw no such Corey Feldman's name on the RSVP list, until we spotted someone special out there in the crowd. Yes, it's really him, Corey Feldman's amazing likeness of a cousin, RORY FELDMAN!
We were quite pleased: not only did Rory deliver all of the aesthetic success as his cousin Corey, he was quite willing to make just as much fun of Corey, if not more!
Those of you with a keen eye for facial symmetry will notice that the eye in the upper right hand corner belongs to none other than RORY HAIM! Though Geoffrey was definately taken with both the Rory's, he spotted something in yellow across the Lab that really caught his attention. The Rory's didn't even notice it, but Geoffrey was already over there, across the room...

Now Gutenhosen, what with all of the divine intervention that seems to go America's Funniest Industry Parties! on here at The Fun Lab, how could you have not expected the divine hand of Providence to reach out and make the tables turn? After all of that badmouthing of Bob Saget earlier in the evening, how could you have expected the Omnipotent to resist reaching out and touching The Fun Lab?
And how could you have missed it that Bob Saget was reaching out and touching your ass???


Meanwhile, the Good Doctor Geoffrey Pfaltzgraff was making friends with Woo-woo! a bubbly go-go girl named Candi, employed by The Fun Lab, paid for by the good folks at Dupont.
We're not sure if it was the festive scent of votive candles in the air, or that bastard true love itself that led to Candi's sweet, romantic peck on Dr. Geoffrey's cheek.
But we're sure that right at the moment this picture was taken, Doctor Pfaltzgraff was discovering his very first erection!
We're talking tent-city here!


And it came as no surprise to any of us that Doctor Geoffrey felt as though Boogie! the weight of a thousand jokes had been lifted from his cute little frame. Good Doctor Geoffrey wholeheartedly accepted Good Dancer Candi's proposition, and soon was dancing the night away on one of The Fun Lab's patented "Dance Like Popeil" comedy shrines. Pfaltzgraff looked off into the distance, at his long, long future of being a successful science "player."
But Candi? Candi was looking at nothing but that cute little punum.


"Hey: I KNOW YOU!" Geoffrey pointed and shouted as he danced up there. We Hey! I know YOU! were all feeling so good about his night that no one had the heart to tell him: "No, Geoffrey, you really DON'T know that person." Maybe it was our desire to not "salt his game," or maybe it was the great indifference maker that is alcohol, but we decided to not intercede.
Good work there, Geoff! We were all pulling for you!


As the night went on, Go-Go dancers and scientists alike danced to the addictive N'OPPorTUNE! rhythms of popular Bulgarian Boy Band sensation N'OPPorTUNE. Soon, the Lab was populated by a throng of twelve-year-old girls, who cunningly found an accidentally forwarded press release, sent by Richard Boll, The Fun Lab head of PR, and learned of the band's private appearance in advance.
While the boys sang their international hit single "Living in Bulgaria", the beat just got stronger, and the pre-teen screaming just became louder.
This may explain, somehow, just what happened to Dr. Bengsston.


No one really knew what happened to Doctor Dagney a few minutes after the Nite-nite, Brody-Brody! doors opened, but a routine review of The Fun Lab's security tapes by The Fun Lab Chief of Security, Eugene Gottschalk, revealed the image shown here. It seems Dagney had one too many of Whittlocke's science cocktails and soon found himself in the downward spiral that is comedy and booze gone terribly wrong. One thing is sure, though. Somehow, while so unbelievably sauced, Doctor Bengsston managed to eat halfway through our entire supply of The Fun Lab wax fingers. Nite, nite, Brody Brody!