When TV's Regis Philbin approached us with a problem, we initially scoffed. Cronk oinked, but that wasn't the point. Regis sent the following memo to us via bonded courier, which we think means that he had dentures:

Not only were we unplussed by the job, we were even more upset about Regis not knowing our names. Still, we've got this great game show now, and lack the funding to generate any real prizes. So, we added these two things together, and have arrived at the following solution: We must still lure in Regis Philbin. We're confident. It's our final answer.

Then, we'll give one lucky winner his award winning television program.

Complete our prize winning fifteen questions, and disregard the monetary values (Dear Lord, we're a science lab, not a rich pedophile!) Questions do not get progressively harder, and we are prepared to consider incorrect answers correct. We have faith that this pus bucket will be out of our hands by June, and Regis will be under the "feel good" pliers.

(NOTE: If this game does not work properly, please contact!)