According to Fun Lab Primate Procedures, every time a new lab monkey is acquired, preliminary tests are to be run on said monkey before any further experiments are conducted using said monkey. In accordance with said procedures, Dr. Gutenhosen began the preliminary testings for "Loaf the Monkey."
TEST 1: INTERVIEW
After a few initial questions, it was quickly learned that Loaf was a little more than what we had bargained for. Surprisingly, his favorite movie is NOT "Dunston Checks In," but the Frank Capra classic, "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington." He enjoys tennis, chess and Pictionary. Also, he is an excellent cook. Fortunately, he does prefer his bananas over Hot Pockets, so all is not lost.
TEST 2: VISION EXAM
Using the 1969 version of the Keystone Visual Skills Profile, and the Keystone Ophthalmic Telebinocular (#15110), Loaf's basic vision patterns were determined. He sees dogs jumping over pigs, arrows pointing at numbers, and the numbers: 63, 92, 56, 32, 79, and 23. This is all very normal, as the Ophthalmic Telebinocular indicates.