Experiment Title:The Fun Lab Saves Face
Experiment ID:  008
Start:  1/25/01 1:15AM
Completion:  1/27/01 1:23AM

Yucky!

INTRODUCTION: In a recent letter sent to Dagney Bengsston, Bryan Murtock writes:

Dear Dag,
I can't help but notice, despite your wonderfully funny comedic talent, and remarkable grasp on your own facial hair, you yourself are by no means a funny person and are on the whole, frankly, dismally unremarkable. Not only this, you still haven't finished the freaking mustache experiment!
My suggestion to you, sir: quit comedy, become a high school gym teacher.
All the best,
Bryan Drake-Jones   Dayton, Ohio

Upon reading this letter, Dagney Dagney promptly opened an account with kozmo.com and had 17 inflatable lawn gnomes delivered to his office, whereupon he locked himself and the gnomes and began screaming obscenities.

Just by happenstance, Dr. Willard Gutenhosen was snooping through the TheFunLab trash recyclery, where he found Mr. Drake-Jones's reactionary letter wadded into a little ball, his signature smeared with Dagney's tears.

Dr. Willard's laughter could be heard throughout the grounds of TheFunLab, across the Dave Coulier wading pool, PAST the Steve Pool wading pool, almost all the way to the far end of the Roe V. Wade wading pool.

Soon, photocopies of the letter were circulated throughout TheFunLab, stapled to test subjects, and loaned out to Merv Griffin. It was rumored that a chuckle was heard from beneath the door of TheFunLab's head of PR, Richard Boll. When Dr. Cronk got ahold of the letter he, as per usual, conveniently made it an excuse to vomit.

But it was Dr. Geoffrey Pfaltzgraff, attempting to catch a digital picture of Bengsston with his gnomes, who broke into Bengsston's office, only to find Bengsston, the gnomes and his six collector's copies of Reader's Digest, missing. Left on Bengsston's impeccably sleazy desk was the following note:

"I will not return until honor has been restored to my name!"

Pfaltzgraff rolled his eyes once again and resolved that his ingenuity could make TheFunLab doctors funnier. "I know a way," Dr. Pfaltzgraff beamed, "that we can ALL save face!"