Hell-Bent for Pullman

Time:
6:20 AM, In the Lab '78 Olds
Dest: Paine Field
Doctors:
Pfaltzgraff, Guten-
hosen, & Cronk.

Tearing down the highway at 6:20 AM

While The Lab may be want for funds, let it not be said that The Lab lacks resources or ingenuity: Somewhere along the way, Dr. Gutenhosen met a man who calls himself a "hobbyist". You know, one of those guys who has no knowledge of anything but owns a lot of toys. This guy, Greg, owns an airplane, but hasn't the foggiest idea how to fly the thing. So we dove into one of the riskiest endeavors imaginable: getting in an airplane piloted by Cronk. We don't know how or when he got a pilot's license, but he assured us it was real, so we began drinking heavily and went with the flow.

All aboard the Mooney M20J!

Cronk insisted on wearing his party shirt instead of his lab gear that day. And when the Cronk holds your life in his hands, whatever his flaws, you don't argue with him. It's like having "George Bush" as president. Takeoff in the Mooney M20J was a white-knuckler, and even Greg was jumpy. We landed in the Paloose a few hours later, where a special Fun Lab connection gave us ground transport to Colfax, home of the Ambulance. All was going smoothly despite Cronk's air sickness.

Cockpit Crew
Click to see Cockpit Cronk

In Pullman, Hungover Frat Guy picked us up in a "stupid freshman pledge's car." He was a surly frat guy and not to be crossed, so we sung along with Frampton Comes Alive. We used phrases like "classic!" "prefunk" and "sausage fest" and humored him as he told us about how all the Kappas fall for the one where he invites them up to his room to see his "new CD player."

Click to see Hungover Frat Guy
Click to see The Ambulance

As we met at the pre-determined rendez-vous point of Nancy's Nitting Nite School, on Mill, the gracious donors drove up in the new FunLab1. It was far more beautiful than we ever imagined. Oh the amenities! The handpainted faux-wood paint job! The hi-tek police scanner! The CB radio! And the stereo truly did bump! Gutenhosen remarked that the jumper seat would be perfect for his Sit and Be Fit excercises, so I had to kick him in the shin.

Click to see The Ambulance