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The Fun Lab "Rips" Wired.com story
By Philip Kristenkoski

12:00 p.m. Nov. 26, 2001 PST
   

Scientists say they've cloned the first human embryo, but critics are calling the announcement a shameless cry for funding.

And in other news, another group of scientists cloned the website Wired.com, and the "webzine" is calling it a shameless cry for attention.

The Comedic Technicians at The Fun Lab in Seattle, Washington, first made national headlines when they claimed to have rigged the 2000 Presidential Election by raising a monkey, naming it George W. Bush, and stealing the Florida ballots in order to assure that their pet became the leader of the free world.

The Fun Lab is making headlines again, this time by literally making headlines. The Doctors of Comedy commandeered the webzine Wired.com and published a fictitious article touting their claimed advancements in comedic science.

    





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Critics say the company is releasing the story not because they've performed groundbreaking science, but to spin a story that might get them additional funding.

"I think they're mainly trying to bring attention to the company and break down certain barriers so [comedic science] can occur in the future with less public attention and outrage," said Fritz Hollings, a member of the Comedy Watchdogs.

Before Wired.com had a chance to call The Fun Lab for comment, they were reportedly phoning the webzine's reporters offering interviews with their top doctors.

"Breakthroughs in Comedic Science like ours happen once in a lifetime, on the average," began Doctor Geoffrey Pfaltzgraff, "but if you go to our website, you will see dozens of discoveries, the likes of which have never been seen on this planet!"

Professor Stan Helmer, of the Parkinson's Institute of Comedy and Witty Retort near Tempe, Arizone, supported The Fun Lab's claims, heralding them as "geniuses".

"Frankly, all publicity stunts aside, these guys are big-time for our industry, and for the world-at-large," he was quoted as saying.

"I, with the help of my comrades, put a monkey in the White House," boasted Doctor Willard Gutenhosen.

Wired.com is forming a task force to investigate the validity of his claim which is well-documented in their Experiments department.

But Sean Yunt, a 19-year-old self-made internet Guru, claims The Fun Lab's experiments are largely adventures in failure. "Look, they tried to study a spider monkey and it ran away. They tried to buy a fancy ambulance and the thing nearly killed them. They shaved off half of Dr. [Dagney] Bengsston's mustache and all they got was a rotten banana for their efforts! Even the doctor himself admitted the experiment was 'an abject failure'!"

"They are doing science by press release," he said.

Yunt even went so far as to deem the Doctors "[major] losers."

Richard Boll, head of The Fun Lab PR department, called Yunt's assesment "nothing but hot air."

He cited The Fun Lab's numerous successess: "This Lab set out to see how tewnty-somethings behave when run through all manner of experiments and has some great concluions to show for their efforts!" When pressed on what the conclusions were, he suggested we speak with a Doctor.

Doctor Arthur Whittlocke pointed out that this past autumn a poltergeist consisting of the "ghosts of the deceased careers of [TV's] Full House cast members" was eradicated from their facilities.

"We excorcised the poltergeist in part by combatting the mulletude of Coulier, Saget and Stamos by giving Dr. Bengsston a mullet!" he added.

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