Name: Dr. Marty Cronk
Education: Phd in Clever Anecdotes, Minor in Rude Noises at
Parkinson's Institute of Comedy
& Witty Retort
Felony Convictions: Few
Notes: Though Dr. Cronk suffers from a serious disorder called "Hyper-kinetic Personality Accelleration,"
he has nonetheless been a vaulable asset to The Fun
Through a life of trialing endevours (ie. being fed the family pet, and killing Sea-Monkeys with a soccer trophy), Marty has quickly become the model for the American Psychological Association's guidelines for Abnormal and Maladaptive practices.
Marty has dealt with Pain. Marty has dealt with Trauma. Marty has dealt with Anger. Marty has dealt with Frustration. And Marty has attempted to cover it all up with comedy.
Without Marty treating his issues, they have grown at a tremendous rate and manifested into classic guidline Personality Conflicts.
We have regulary been attempting to treat his problems, but a new conflict quickly arises, and Marty refuses to cooperate using the remedies provided to him. It has come to our attention that Marty does not want help. On one hand, Marty is calm and cool. On the other, Marty lashes out at guests and patients. Employers, teachers, acquiantances, and 4 out of 5 doctors agree that Marty is "A real case..."
Diagnosises have been made for Marty in a textbook fashion, but most doctors are quickly led astray by Marty's lack of cooperation for helping with remedies. Marty refuses to take Medicated drugs prescibed for him, and is regularly keeping aloof in the efforts of both Science and Medicine.
Marty has made my job a difficult one. He knows what he is supposed to do, but he denies himself the chance to do it.
On a regular basis, we have made diagnoses based on the DSM IV, and shortly after the beginning of treatment of Marty, we find several other areas and problems that lead us to believe that Marty suffers from an entirely different illness.
Marty is now in his own world. He is not dangerous and is often perceived to be living a normal life. Unfortunately, beneath all the pearls and rosery, there lies a personality that does not want to cooperate in completely random instances (one day, his medication, the next day breathing without yelling, the next day tying his shoes). This is a continous task and an ardourous game of cat and mouse.
We are a professional clinic and Marty is not helping us succeed. Please remove him from our patient roster, and release him on the grounds of negligence.