Name: Dr. Dag Bengsston
Education: Phd in Minors, Sixteen Minors: in Mullets, Mustaches, Moe, Monkeys, Malpractice, Molassas,
Marsupials, Marmaduke, Meringue, Midgets, Misappropriation, Misfortune, Mockery, Mollycoddle, Mob Rule and the
letter "D." at Parkinson's Institute of Comedy & Witty Retort
"Trivet" 'triv-et, n: A three-legged stand or support for holding a kettle near the fire.
Felony Convictions: No
Notes: Dr. Bengsston prefers to not be called Dagney, and tried to have his first name legally changed to "Brody." But due to a clerical error, his first name was left unchanged, and his middle name (originally also Brody) was instead changed to Dagney. In a freak occurance, Dagney Bengsston became Dagney Dagney Bengsston.
It was not until 1987 that Dagney Dagney discovered the error, when attempting to buy tickets for the hit comedy, "Dragnet" starring Tom Hanks and Dan Akroyd: Dagney misheard a young laughing Persian, and heard "Dagney" instead of "Dragnet." In his astonishment that his old name was being laughed about in such distant lands as New Persia, and in the disorientation expected when ingesting anything having to do with Tom Hanks, it can only be called a "hollyhock" that caused Dagney to slip on a discarded banana peel and slide the entire length of the Golly-Golly MoviePlex, sticking to the lower right hand corner of the Golly-Golly Movie2000 (patent pending). After much 'splainin, the situation was resolved, and Dagney Dagney decided to do two things: To never again attend a movie starring Dan Akroyd, nor Tom Hanks, and to enroll in the Parkinson's Institute of Comedy and Witty Retort.
Upon entry to the Parkinson's Institute of Comedy and Witty Retort, Dagney Dagney had already accumulated a healthy collection of mustache which, in fact, won him tremendous accolades from his peers, where he was named "most likely to unknowingly save food for later." Dagney Dagney didn't get it until Marsupials 402. It wasn't until his studies in Mollycoddle that Dagney Dagney began to wax his prized lip monkey. The term "Lip Monkey" is patent-pending.
In his association with The Fun Lab, Dagney Dagney has been given the remarkable task of coming to grips with, among other things, his own facial hair. Dagney Dagney is ecstatic that The Fun Lab does not make it a practice to use middle names in its day-to-day business.